it had been long since i last said abt me dolling up my room..
now i can declare that its FinallY!!

80% DONE!! lol
Pretty pretty pink bed and my bedside table.. thanks dear for helpin me fix.. lol

i cant find a proper term to descirbe my feelin besides scattered, heart broken..
this is the rare days tt i cant even control myself..

i went to his place on sun late afternoon..
to return him some of his stuff..

i called his house when i am on my way there..
he's not home.. out already..
lucky his mon and sis still home..
informed his sister tt i'll be droppin by shortly..

on my way, i keep remindin myself that regardless wat.. i have to control..
i cannot let his mum see my tears..

the moment stepped into the void deck under his blk..
i saw his mum and Duffy..
i called out to his mum..
and his mum smiled back at me and said
"Duffy, mummy lai le. Ni Kan Mummy lai le"
Duffy immediately ran over to me pulling his mum along as he is on leash..
he keep sniffing my skirt..
i bent down after i greeted his mum again..
i hugged Duffy and played wif his head..
had been so long since i last did tt...

after which we went up to his hse..
on the way up.. Duffy keep running ard me.. jumping up and down..
its the way he use to do it..
He as unleashed the moment we went into the hse..

i went into his room and place the stuff on his desk..
then i saw ah mei at the door..
changed le.. grow up le wor.. know how to doll herself le..
i went into her room to have a short chat wif her..

then we went out to the kitchen to find mummy..
i sat down in the living room wif her for a while..
i guess its even less than 5mins..
bcos at that moment i am on the verge of breaking into tears..
i felt tt i am pretty rude at the moment cos i am shortening all my ans to her qns..
cos i really feel like crying..

i left saying tt my friend is waiting for me downstairs..
and afterwhich i headed straight to the door w/o turning back..
i even close the gate wif my back facing her..
cos my tears alr rolled down uncontrollably..

i am sorry.. i dun mean to be rude.. i jus cant control..
i will go back to visit them.. i realli miss them alot..

i felt the ultimate pain in my heart when i saw the sms frm him..
i cant control myself.. i cried..
i dunno why but it realli hurts...
for a moment i was wondering if it is still the same person whom i know previously..

for the past few years, he had been the most wonderful person in my life..
forever understanding and forever knowing me..
but this time i completely felt the difference...
the person whom i am talking to across the line dun seem to be the same person i knew for all these years..
the feelin is just not right..
he felt like a complete stranger now..
the way he react, he reply, his tone and every little thg..

i have to realli understand that he is no longer the person whom he was previously..
he might not even realise the change but i strongly felt it..

Everything on earth changes. Nothing will remain the same forever..
This is a known and proven fact by all.
But still there will be people affected by changes around them.. simply bcos..
changes was not wat they expected or what they wished for...

things had been changing around me.. and i guess regardless what happens..
i'll have to accept.. cos changes happened partially bcos of me...

When i first heard of it.. i was stunned.. and i realli dunno how to react..
i hope i didnt react in a wrong manner..
on one hand i am glad for him; on the other i felt the pain..

for the few days after i know that fact..
i dunno how to consult another person to share my thoughts..
i dunno how i shld start..
so i choose to keep quiet...

finally i thought it through... and i told my dearest bestie abt it..
i felt so much better..
and finally i can convince myself to realli LET GO!

Some thgs in life happened they way it is suppose to be..
and some thgs in life dun go as how u alwaes feel that its suppose to be..
regardless you like it or not.. i guess the only choice or only way out is..
Accept and Let Go!!

I know you will come across this entry.. and i know u will get to read this..
Just to let you know..
I Sincerely Wish you ALL the Best!!

Today is my 2nd day at home... argh...
had been havin fever since monday..
haven recover...

~feeling so tired~

So sorry my dears.. i realised that i missed out an entry on this...
our ladies lunch out...
these are the sessions that i enjoyed the most and i felt the most love from my friends... these gers are wonderful...

met bestie at bedok interchange... as usual la.. both la.. and this time even best...
no communication at all...
i waited for her at bedok interchange and she waited for me at MRT control..
lol... on top of this.. we are already late... this made us even later... lol

we rarely meet on weekends like sat.. but this time yap suggested a sat...
cos her hubby gt to prepare for paper so she got her so call 'off day' la... lol

me and bestie tried cam whoring on train... ages since we last cam whore lor..

we all met at bugis for lunch at MOF.. Jap food... Ramen... not too bad.. jus a little ex though... =pmy bestie bought a new poloroid Camera... cheap cam but expensive films lor.. super not worth... lol... Joanna our usual topic during gatherings... lol.. cos someone getting married le...

After lunch we head for some desserts to satisfy our cravings for sweet stuff... lol.. "Yang Zhi Gan Lu" the mango thgy la... nice... all of us had the same thg lor.. lol... no creativity rite.. =p ambassadors.... as we were walkin along liang seah st... our dear joanna was alr talking abt the few bridal shops there... so after the dessert session.. we headed down to check out this shop... The Bridal Concept...The excited bride to be..

at times i dun really understands why she does certain thgs at certain timing... but as long as she is happy... haiya.. dun care la... lol... being happy is the most impt thg lor...

While she's happily looking at the 'limited' gowns there... we gers were busy....

Camwhoring.... lol...

i really dislike the shop Bridal Concept for THE SUPER LOUSY LADYBOSS..
argh... dun realli wanna go into the details.. just wanna say...

IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE GOOD MOOD OR YOU 'STILL' HAVING YOUR PERIOD, PLEASE STAY HOME!! DONT SHOW UR RUDENESS AND LOUSY SERVICE TO PPL!! IF NOT FEELING HAPPY, CLOSE THE SHOP EARLY AND REST TILL YOU FEEL GOOD!!

lol.. sorry.. till now i still felt irritated by her attitue... if i am a potential customer.. looking at her attitute and service.. i wouldnt sign regardles how wonderful and cheap the packages and gowns are lor...

IF WANNA SURVIVE, BE NICE.. NO ONE OWES YOU ANYTING!!

After almost a week of suffering...
i finally decided to do it... and I SURVIVED!!!

I went to the dental today and got my 1st wisdom tooth extracted...
my top Left tooth...

going to dental... getting my tooth checked.. cleaned...
and the extraction... these are never things that i will do lor...
but this time really no choice... the pain is killing me...
and i am havin fever since yst... no choice.. realli have to extract...
took this pic aft the dental appt...
see... i have a huge tooth....
i survived... n i am proud of myself... lol...

1 down.. 3 more to go... argh!!
cant imagine...